You Are a One-of-a-kind Unique Gift

In all the effort to find and give a unique gift to the people we love during the holiday season, we often over look the most unique and valuable gift we have to share with others-ourself.  There is no one else in the world who can do what you do in the way you uniquely do it.  You have unique DNA and experiences that will never be duplicated.  Only you can be you!

At the core of most self-improvement efforts is the idea that there is intrinsically something wrong with you.  You need to somehow change who you are.  I think this notion is fundamentally wrong.  You don’t need to change who you are.  Actually your best plan of action is to totally be yourself.  The problem for most of us is that we don’t have any idea who we really are.  Instead of self-improvement, I encourage people to become more self-aware of who they uniquely are and then exercise extreme self-care for that person. 

                                Self-awareness

                +             Self-care

                =             Self-assurance, Confidence, and Significant Contribution

Who you are is like a seed.  Plant that seed in a great environment and diligently care for that seed and it will produce an abundance of fruit.  Plant that same seed in the wrong environment and it will struggle.  Take two seeds, a kernel of corn and a cactus seed.  They require entirely different environments to prosper.  Plant the cactus seed in dark, fertile, moist loam and it will rot.  Plant the kernel of corn in the desert sand.  It will sprout at the first rain and then die from lack of moisture and nutrients.  Reverse the environments and both seeds prosper. 

If you want to prosper don’t try to change the seed.  Change the environment that nurtures the seed.  Over the long haul most of us can control our environment.  Self-care is about creating the best environment for you to be you and maximizing your potential.    A whole healthy you is amazing! This holiday season give the people you love and care about the best gift of all-you.

Looking Back/Looking Forward-Helps You Live More Powerfully and Intentionally In the Present

The end of the year is a great time to spend a little time reflecting.  What has gone well?  What has not gone so well?  Did you achieve your goals and make significant progress? 

What would you like to accomplish in next year?  Thinking about it and setting some goals can help you stay focused and get more of what you want done get done.  The goal itself is not what is important. It is instead, the goal setting process.  Once you commit to a goal you create a point of reference and your mind immediately goes to work searching for the steps that will get you from where you are to where you want to go. 

People will often tell me they are not sure what goals to set. Honestly, it doesn’t matter as long as you establish a point of reference and monitor the feedback, you will eventually get where you want to go, but you will only benefit from this process if you set a goal.   The Dynamic Productivity Model below illustrates the on-going goal setting process.

If you would like some goal setting worksheets, please email me and I would be glad to send them to you, RMayes@TheSuccessCoachNetwork.com. 

Profiles in Passion: Developing Future Leaders

You need a certain quality to be a leader, whether its in your industry, community or even in your own household.  Important leadership qualities incude understanding diversity, creating strong relationships in the community and reflecting your core values, but have you ever taken the time to consider where you gained that knowledge? Was it through trial and error? Did you learn from your parents? Did you have a teacher who influenced you?

At Missouri State University, students have the opportunity to gain real-world leadership experience through several campus-wide programs. “I take students who are good already and want to get great; who want to get better at leadership in general,” said Marissa Weaver, Associate Director of Student Engagement, who coordinates the leadership programs at MSU.

After getting her masters in education with a focus on student development, Marissa moved to Springfield from St. Louis to take a position as the Assistant Director of Student Activities for Greek Life. Through that position she began working with leadership student training, facilitating and speaking at national conferences and institutes. “I enjoyed working with the students and watching them grow. I especially enjoyed the leadership aspect, but not the disciplining,” said Marissa of her first position at MSU.

Universities were trending towards having leadership training opportunities, but MSU didn’t offer such a program. Marissa had planned on living in Springfield for just a few years and then moving on, but other universities that offered leadership programs didn’t interest her. Besides, she had learned to love what Springfield had to offer. “There were lots of great things going on here five years ago. I had to step back and look at the opportunity I had in Springfield,” she remembers. “I had fallen in love with Springfield, and all of the sudden I realized I didn’t want to leave.”

As with everything else in her life, Marissa embraced her strength of creating a solution to problems and developed a position for leadership training at the university. “I looked at what we should be doing and created a position from that need,” she noted. “I tend to fill needs as they come, and MSU had that need. They didn’t offer a program like this.”

MSU now has four leadership programs for students which include the nine year old Commerce Bank Emerging Leadership Program. Three of its newer programs were developed through Marissa’s guidance: the Hutchens SGA Leadership Scholarship, Network mentoring program, and Distinction in Public Affairs. Each program offers unique student benefit opportunities.

The Network program couples students with young professionals for a fresh perspective on entering the workforce as a new graduate; Leadership Scholarship is a two year program that helps educate the community; Emerging Leaders is a shorter, five week program for freshmen and sophomores and is offered twice annually; and Distinction in Public Affairs clarifies the mission of public affairs and creates awareness and understanding through real-world participation.

Marissa has a natural desire for advancement and is currently working towards her doctorate in educational leadership. “I’ve always been one of those people who has too many ideas of what I want to do, so just ask myself, ‘what’s next?’ I don’t strive for one particular position. That’s too limiting,” she explains. “As I educate myself, more opportunities will come my way. I trust the process and know I’ll be prepared when the opportunity shows itself.”

Marissa makes herself a role model, practicing the leadership opportunities she shares with her students. She is involved with the community through a variety of volunteer efforts including Big Brothers Big Sisters, fundraising for St. Jude’s, involvement in The Network, and serves on the board of Leadership Springfield.

She strives to enable others to reach their goals by connecting aspiring leaders and professionals with resources, people and opportunities. Educating future leaders on the three pillars of public affairs (cultural competence, community engagement and ethical leadership) is a part of her personal goal.  “Ethical leadership is pivotal in society, no matter what job or profession you are in, even if you’re a stay-at-home mom or dad,” explains Marissa. “All leadership education is valuable and transferable to any industry or profession.”

Profiles in Passion: Act Locally, Think Globally

Most everyone’s bucket list includes some aspect of world travel. For Brad Bodenhausen, Executive Vice President, Springfield Area Chamber of Commerce, a Rotary International  trip to Sweden was the catalyst for career opportunities he had never before considered. Brad is responsible for spearheading the international program at the Chamber in addition to his regular VP duties.

After just three years working at the Chamber, Brad was approached by his boss, President Jim Anderson, about a Rotary group study exchange program to Sweden. “It was a life-changing experience,” says Brad. “I spent five weeks in Sweden with a group of four others from neighboring Rotary clubs serving as ambassadors for our state.”

“The experience offered connections to people that I have kept in touch with over the years and sparked my interest in the international field. I’ve followed that path ever since with my masters degree program, with Rotary and professionally with the Chamber,” explains Brad.

Since  the time of his first overseas trip with the exchange, the Chamber began considering ways to help its community with global connectivity. It wanted to offer new opportunities and resources for businesses already doing business worldwide and to expand the resources for those interested in a global market. In 2004, the Chamber launched its international program and three years later, organized the International Business Council, a panel of 60  of internationally-minded businesspersons.

“There are many more companies in Springfield doing international business than those currently involved in the program,” explains Brad. “We’re always looking for more businesses to participate. We put together programs highlighting things going on in the world, and keep our Chamber members abreast of current international trends and business opportunities.”

Brad feels strongly about international connections and sharing those connections with organizations that otherwise wouldn’t have the opportunity to make them on their own. “My most fulfilling contribution is to understand people in other cultures for who they are, and to take the opportunity to share the true Midwest as it is, dispelling preconceived notions others may have.”

Though it’s grown to something much more, Brad still attributes his international career opportunities to his first overseas trip. The Rotary Group Study Exchange is always in search of young professionals whose employers would support their international professional development. The program offers professionals an opportunity to learn about their vocation as it is practiced in other parts of the world.

“Jim encouraged me and gave me the opportunity 14 years ago to gain an international perspective,” expressed Brad. “What’s neat is years later, I’ve been able to do the same for another co-worker (Emily Denniston)within our organization. These days we’re so interconnected. The opportunity to learn from other cultures and countries is huge.”

What Are You Willing to Die For ? – A Salute to Our Soldiers

The life of a soldier is an interesting one. They voluntarily give up their own life for a cause or purpose that is much larger than themselves. After signing on, new recruits are sent to basic training.  They are pushed beyond any reasonable bounds and systematically broken down so that they can be rebuilt into effective soldiers. To be an effective soldier one must be willing to put others, their unit, and ultimately their country in front of self-interest.

Why do we have such respect for soldiers? Because they're willing to die for a worthy cause.  As humans we give our highest respect to those who have died for something of lasting value. Physical life is not the ultimate; a life of meaning and purpose is. If you are searching for happiness you will not find it apart from a worthy cause -your own calling something that you are willing to die on a hill for. I tell people all the time in my coaching practice that there's nothing wrong with dying on a hill you just want to make sure it's your hill not somebody else's.

In one of the top selling books of 2006, Success Built to Last-Creating a Life that Matters, resoundingly confirms this notion.  The book researches the lives of people that we as humans consider to be the most successful. People like Nelson Mandela and Mother Theresa. Their extensive research concludes what we already intuitively know.  People who live their lives built around a compelling cause or purpose are the healthiest, happiest, and most respected people on the face of the earth.

The story of dying for a worthy cause is not a new one. Irrespective of your personal beliefs and feelings about Him, no one has had a greater impact on civilization than a small town carpenter named Jesus. The Scripture tells us that he willingly laid down his life so that others might live. He was totally plugged into his God-given purpose and calling. I am personally thankful that he was willing to die on a hill for me and the rest of humanity.

I would ask you, have you identified your own cause worth dying for?

Are You Spamming Yourself?

I recently found a message from myself in my spam folder?  It had never occurred to me that I could spam myself.  I then stopped and asked myself how else might I be spamming myself?  What kind of preprogrammed garbage have I allowed to be stored on my mental hard drive? 

Some words are so apropos.  When I was growing up in the 60’s and 70’s, spam was this slimy meat like stuff in can.  I can eat almost anything but spam is not one of them.  Today spam is that flood of unwanted, slimy stuff that someone else wants to dump on us.  What kind of mental spam do you have running around in your head that doesn’t need to be there?

Spam, in and of itself, is not necessarily bad. What make it bad is that it is not something you want.  Someone else is arbitrarily imposing their agenda on you.   If you haven’t clearly defined your own agenda you will by default have little choice but to accept someone else’s agenda for you.  The best defense against head spam is to get clear about who you are at your core and then align your conduct or behavior with that identity.  

Profiles in Passion: October 2010, Judge Jason Brown

The small things we do impact the lives and future of generations to come. Jason Brown recognized this from a young age. Growing up with a father who treated everyone, regardless of background and social standing, with the same fairness led Jason to aspire for the same. Jason Brown has been an associate circuit judge for the 31st Judicial Circuit since 2006.

Though it wasn’t apparent at first he wanted to pursue a life in law, Judge Brown always knew he had a passion for listening. “I often found myself in a position where people found it easy to talk to me, to open up and ask for my take on their issues,” he says. “I had a sense I would be involved in assessing peoples’ interactions. Deciding what is right and fair could have landed me as a counselor, judge, or another walk of life where I would offer feedback.”

Another walk of life wasn’t in the cards for Judge Brown. He attended law school after college. He knew a legal background would give him opportunities he otherwise wouldn’t have. When he began doing trial training, his interest and passion was seeded.

He practiced for 16 years as an attorney where he witnessed on various occasions victims being treated unfairly or without respect. With the encouragement of peers, Judge Brown took the risk of losing his practice and ran for election. This is a risk many lawyers who would otherwise make great judges opt not to take. The risks outweighed the benefits and he was elected to the bench in 2006.

His impact in the Greene County community is substantial. “I can’t say I’m changing the world, but hopefully I’m contributing to society by giving people faith that civil and criminal cases are handled fairly, that people can come in and have a fair hearing where their rights will be enforced and crimes punished.”

Daily headaches come and go, but Judge Brown enjoys the opportunities being a judge present. The best part of living his passion as a judge is feeling a daily sense of accomplishment. Even though there are always people who will question decisions, Judge Brown hopes people understand and respect his decisions whether they agree or not. He firmly believes in deciding on facts and law, not for artificial reasons like status or relationships.

Judge Brown encourages others to share their professional goals so that they, too, can feel a sense of accomplishment within their lives. “If it’s something you consider a goal and think about often, let others know. When there is an opening, people will think of you first as a possible solution to their need.”

Judge Brown he hopes his lasting legacy is that of a fair judge:  someone who listened, treated people with respect they deserved, and gave everyone fair shake and equal opportunity.